What Helps 2: Not Talking Much!

An Irish doctor, Michael Murphy, started the hospice movement in America. I found his book (Wisdom of Dying: Practices for Living by N. Michael Murphy) very instructive. He and his colleagues put much energy into getting family meetings to happen near the end of the dying person's life, perhaps with only days or weeks to go. Sometimes it worked well and some times not. His main aim was to give the family the opportunity to resolve something in a relationship. This was most often something that needed to be said by one or another in the family. Often one sentence or a few sentences were enough to change the energy in the room and to allow either or both the dying person and the family to let something go, to find some peace in themselves and in relationship. Again and again, there were examples of this in his book. Only a few words making a huge difference. I think the same applies to a conversation you might have with a grieving person after someone has died. A few words could make a huge difference.